Stressful thoughts of a deranged mind

So here is my first official post. I am warning all of those who read it, it might be mispelled, it might sound crazy, which I guess I am, but it is all me! :) So today was an absolute horrible day. Well, maybe not horrible, but pretty darn bad. It was one of those days from the second you wake up in the morning with puffy eyes that hurt, you know its going to be bad. It has been a stressful couple of months with the are we moving to Boston, we are, we aren't, we are again. That, selling the house, moving departments at work, dealing with BJ being far away from me in a matter of days scares the living hell out of me. I am so excited to start a new chapter in my life, to experience places and things like never before. But not being able to hang out with my family, not being able to go catch a free meal or just being around some people who although drive me quite crazy at times, I really love and love to be around. It scares me a lot. A whole lot. I am truthfully giving up everything I have ever known. That and I feel pretty alone. I love all my friends, they are absolutely wonderful people, but I have always been an intense person, someone who isn't the easiest person to be around all the time, someone who always goes into depth, someone who might not be the first person you think to invite to a party, but someone everyone likes. Somehow I have this inate ability to stick in people's heads. They rarely forget me, but they don't remember to call, or invite me places or listen to me when I need to chat. I have come to rely solely on BJ for that. And I am about to not have that. Not have that comforting voice and arms when I need them. He is about to be a 24 hour drive away. It is all this, this cumlination of things that have wrapped into this tight ball of stress and terror and frustration. I read the most wonderful book the other day, well I finished it the other day. Its called Blue Like Jazz. It talks about people and how we have to love people and ideas about religion and just all these wonderful things. He is my voice. He is saying what I have been saying for years. He has liberated me from the depths that "religion" had bonded me. I don't feel guilt or shame because I know, day in, day out, I am doing exactly what is asked and then some. Maybe this is a crazy first entry, maybe this is too intense, too crazy for a blog, but you know what. Its my blog and I am more or less looking at this as a release anyways. I will write about anything and everything here so here is a warning. To the faint of heart, if you offend easily, don't read it. The things written here are an expression of me. They are simply my way of working out the things in my head. I am not suggesting you are wrong in any kind of way, just putting up some other thoughts, other opinions to make you see someone else's point of view. I hope you keep on reading and enjoy. I think you will be surprised to find a lot of depth, a lot of wisdom entwined in the contents of these pages.