A tad more

Don't know if I can ever be happy. Don't know if I have it in me. Everytime I try to let myself be something comes and ruins it. My guilt, my selfishness, my mouth, something. I understand I won't be happy all the time, but sometimes, for awhile, to feel fufilled, that would be nice. Don't know how to acheive this. I have tried so many times and to no avail. Hope I can be. Hope God can help me to be.